you put the colours in my life

2009-03-15T19:01:00.003+08:00

I'm leaving this behind.
I won't delete the posts here because they hold too many memories.
4 years have passed too quickly.

Au Revoir.
Arrivederci.
Goodbye my friend.

2009-03-13T11:03:00.002+08:00

The thing about addiction is, it never ends well.
Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say that you don't kick the bad habit till you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts more.

- Grey's Anatomy.

I couldn't agree more.

2009-03-13T10:45:00.003+08:00

The face turns towards me, mildly surprised, relatively friendly and perhaps, just maybe, set with slight anticipation? A small burst of fireworks erupts inside me; I feel the pleasant warmth of a surprise spreading throughout my body, and a slight shiver runs down my spine. Thoughts run wild like mustangs across the dusty (American) plains of my brain and I seek to dimiss them quickly. Stop it, I berate myself furiously, the efforts of feminists back in their heyday will not be proven futile by these iniquitous thoughts. Pulling myself together, a slight smile flashes briefly across my hesitant, unsure face.

2009-03-11T23:58:00.002+08:00

Noah: If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

I melt, no, scratch that, I sublime into vapour upon hearing Gosling utter those words.

Fior sleepover was nothing short of rockin'. But, major bawling session while watching The Notebook consisted of just Joy and I bawling while the rest looked on in amusement. And because it's Joy's first time watching it, it's excusable. But it's my fourth or fifth, so what can I say? I'm just a sucker for romance films. So kill me.

Other highlights included hoodie phototaking session at night (my spiderman squat was beyond the valley of unglamness), me getting dunked by Liting and Michael Jackson inspired dancing session. Gosh, thriller dance is the love.

So, today, Joy asked me what I wanted in life. And I told her I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted. But then, I thought somemore, and I realised that maybe I wasn't so sure anymore. Nobody thinks that their life is just going to be okay, everyone thinks their life is going to be great. Something special. Well, my idea of special just got blown out of the window, so I'm back to square one. I don't think I know what I want to achieve in life after all. But somehow, that scares me less than knowing what I want to do with my life. Ironic, isn't it?

Noah: I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

2009-03-09T18:55:00.004+08:00

It's another one of those afternoons. The kind where you seem to be enclosed in your own little bubble, immune to the passing of time, as everything else rushes past you in a blur of colours and noises. The smell of rain is heavy in the air and a waft of air carries with it the hints of a long-forgotten lullaby.

When you look around on afternoons like these, you see. You don't just look, you actually see. You look past the brick and mortar; the tendrils of your understanding creep beyond the superficiality of it all. Instead, they reach into the very core of the subject of your interest, gripping it with such clarity, precision and palpability that suddenly, the essence of its being is turned inside out; its form is revealed. Tranquility fills your mind as a blanket of serene satisfaction descends upon you, finally you see. You see.

Then, as if at the climax of a grand symphony, tunes of your long-abandoned childhood memories swirl around you. If only they were tangible, you might actually see the myriad of vibrant colours twirling like graceful ice-skaters before your very eyes. But wait, you do! In a burst of sheer vibrancy, effulgent swirls of colour shimmer before your startled self, and now facing such iridescence, you see. Yes, you see.

And as you sit there, feeling rather uncharacteristic with this newfound power in your hands, you can't help but feel an incandescent sense of joy gnawing at your insides. Because, finally, you see.

2009-03-09T00:04:00.003+08:00

Went out with the fam fam (as R likes to say) to watch Slumdog Millionaire this afternoon. I can see why it won the Oscar for Best picture. Quite surprisingly, my eyes remained relatively dry throughout the movie, (Yes, guilty. I'm usually the person you hear in cinemas sniffling uncontrollably).

Dev Patel acted quite splendidly and as for the young "Jamal", well, he won my heart when he jumped into that big pile of human, um, waste. The most amazing thing is, all the child actors featured in the film were authentic residents of the Indian slums (unlike Dev Patel who is a British actor with a knack for faking a highly-passable Indian accent). I'm just so happy that their pay will help them achieve a higher quality of life. (I'm a good geography student, no?)

R: Scroll down to the pictures below! What's up with the candy cane?! (Bursts into loud raucous laughter)
J: Okay, hold on. I'm still trying to find it.
R: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (continues laughing)
J: Heyyy stop it, I haven't found it yet!
R: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
J: OH. OHMYGOD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Two-for-one value pack!
R: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Really, I love this girl, she never fails to put a smile on my face, especially when I need it most.

2009-03-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

Stay mad as long as you can because once you're not mad anymore, it hurts. It hurts like hell and once it hurts that bad, you can't make yourself mad anymore.

2009-03-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

You know how parents nag at you, ask you to clear your room repeatedly, refuse to increase your allowance? Well, I can safely say that when it came to the Parents Lottery, I struck gold. They came through tonight and picked me up when I just couldn't keep going any longer. I'd been running away from it for far too long and finally, it caught up with me. I think that's what family is for. Family is what pieces you back together even after you feel like you've shattered irreparably into a million little pieces. While some shards of me might still be lying around on the floor, I daresay that at least, most of the big pieces have been gelled back together. It'll just take time.

I could never have done it without both of you. Thank you.

You'll never understand, and I mean, how could you? You have nothing left to lose, because somehow you've managed to make me lose all respect for you already.

2009-03-07T13:46:00.000+08:00

Founders' day was a huge success! Our first ever night event went so well; I'm incredibly proud of all those involved. Everyone did such a brilliant job. I returned home a walking zombie and hit the hay immediately after showering.

This morning, I headed down to school for phototaking for the Raffles' prospectus. It was really fun for the most part. Quite sadly, my modelling talent = nada, zilch, zero. So much for Tyra Bank's Fieeeerceeee (think ANTM). Hahaha. Yan Han came down for the photo taking, as well as some of the RI PB exco members, I enjoyed talking to them (:

After which, cheekz and I managed to get our Macs brekkie @ orchard. And we had a very interesting conversation about the day's events, so I'm a happy girl right now. Founders' day for alumni tonight! Can't waittttt.

2009-03-05T20:47:00.001+08:00

I've never felt quite so helpless or happy in a long time. Honestly, I'm more thrilled than anything. I've been trying to detect this potent source of effulgent happiness (okay, I exaggerate) that has been seeping insidiously into my daily life - and I think I may know what it is (:

Tomorrow's founders' day! It's our first night even as as school, definitely a night to remember!

Here are some pictures from late night founders' day rehearsals, spent with four of my favourite people in the world.

2009-03-03T18:41:00.000+08:00

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.

- Audrey Hepburn.

2009-03-02T15:58:00.000+08:00

"The truth is, we hide so we can be found; we walk away to see who will follow; we cry to see who will wipe away our tears and we get our hearts broken to see who will fix them."

- Grey's Anatomy

2009-03-01T02:55:00.000+08:00

When you're young, your whole life is is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

- Sex and The City.
The show the immortalised the term "Manolos" for all of time.

2009-03-01T02:04:00.000+08:00

It's really uncanny how the strangest urge to blog always comes to me at the weirdest of times. But being the ever-so-perceptive physics student (data analysis test on monday, grah), I've spotted a trend. My desire to blog only comes:

(a) Before a biology test. Coincidentally, or maybe not so coincidentally, I have one on monday.
(b) Whenever I feel like an angsty, misunderstood teen.
(c) When I read other people's blogs and unexpectedly catch the "Omg I want to blog too!" fever.
(d) When I'm feeling incandescently happy or down in the dumps.

So, which of the reasons listed above pushed me to blog? Well, I think it was a combination of all four this time round. My last SLI in the grounds of RGS just took place one (now, two) days ago. And I can't help but feel really proud that I've made it this far; but yet a sense of wistfulness barges its way into my head, demanding for recognition. And I was forced to grudgingly admit that sometimes, I do want to be that secondary one girl again. That twelve-year-old girl who was freshly graduated from SCGS primary, feeling nervous, frightened out of my wits, but excited to begin a new chapter of my life. In retrospect, I'm not sure if I would do things differently if by some miracle I could turn back the clock. I might put more thought into the decisions I made, the path I chose, the memories that I created. Now I truly understand why they call it 20-20 hindsight; no one likes to look back and feel that stinging sense of regret and overpowering sense of nostalgia. I'm fine with the 'regret' bit actually. I love my life and I'm thankful for everything that has happened to me, good or bad. The waves of nostalgia that come crashing down on me are the ones that constantly threaten to submerge me in their dark, murky waters. But no, I guess if I had the choice, I wouldn't turn back time to relive my life. I love where I am, who I am, the way I am and the person I've become. I really couldn't ask for more.

On a much happier note (Because I'm the animate embodiment of an inanimate pendulum that swings from one extreme to the other), I have to tell you that - I'm very happy. I know, it's quite a 'whuuuut?' statement. But yeah.

2009-02-17T22:42:00.000+08:00

Picture update ya'll.
The Last Three Months of My Life.

2008-10-18T11:55:00.000+08:00

Here's a peekcha update; please excuse the sparsity of them (:

Be Yourself Day 2008
Rach, Liting and I were surgeons for a day, a la Addison Montgomery Ex-Sheperd, who has been a great source of (neo-natal) inspiration to all of us (:

Shiseido skincare lesson!

This was like a compulsory course arranged by our school and it turned out to be superrr fun, rach's trusty camera came in handy.

Not to mention GGFC photos at skincare lesson
With friends like these, who needs armies?

JLR lubx.

Our ice cream outing before Fior sleepover.

There are so many more, but I don't think I'll upload them.

Let's just say life has been hectic, busy, rather stressful, but overall rather fun. And I'll leave it at that (:

2008-07-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

Here's the truth about the truth.
It hurts, so we lie.

2008-06-20T17:12:00.000+08:00

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

One of my favourite quotes of all time from Grey's Season 2.

2008-05-17T00:04:00.000+08:00

\

LONG OVERDUE PICTURES FROM ORA & OM AFTER THAT.

2008-05-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

WHITNEY IS AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL.

GOOD FOR HER.
BOO FOR ANYA.
I liked anya! ):

2008-05-05T20:52:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, I forgot to thank three very important people for today.
Liting, Joy & Liqi, thanks so much for making me feel so much better after the 'calculator-drama-episode'. I feel really stupid for kicking up such a big fuss over such a trivial matter; it seriously wasn't worth all the drama. (I blame my sensitive tear ducts, haha)

But anyway, you guys made my day (:

2008-05-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

Surprise, surprise. I'm back again; a la michelle trachtenberg as the sinister Georgina Sparks in Gossip Girl, minus the cool shades (:
It's actually really an odd time for me to be re-blogging since it's actually the MYA period. Well, I guess autotrophic nutrition can wait for another 5 minutes or so. I've forgotten how much I miss blogging! It's really great just to get everything out of your system; it makes you feel considerably better, seriously.
So, my latest love is gossip girl. I'm a fickle-minded girl. Honestly, it's a really interesting TV show that caters to teenagers; not to mention their style is ultra glamorous and stylish; I'm lovin' their clothes and bags. Anyway it's only okay to dress like that on Upper East Side Manhatten; if you did it in Singapore, people would be all like "Spot the plonker!" Okay, so it's not the most intelligent show around, but hey, Chace Crawford is really easy on the eyes, so I'm not complaining haha.
I hereby recommend Gossip Girl to anyone who is desperately searching for a good TV series to follow.
I have 2 more papers to go, biology & math, and this semi-torture will finally be over. Can't wait for what happens after! So, it's back to autotrophic nutrition now.

2007-12-28T08:39:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a great day :D
First chinese tuition in the morning, then I rushed down to meet fellow witty wombat for a "moping-cum-praying session" which actually turned out not to be so mopey after all, haha. So, we walked to NYDC for lunch and ordered their cookie monster mud pieeee. Yup, then we walked across to lido to check out movie timings but all the shows had rather wonky timings so we decided to walk all the way to Cineleisure.

And as we were walking past this gelato shop at lido, we stopped for a moment to look at the rather delicious looking ice cream and suddenly out of nowhere, pops this malay dude who's standing behind the counter and holding a free gelato sample! And he shoves it under my nose and is all like "Take it, c'mon take it." And I really didn't want it, so I politely refused. But he was scarily persistant and he kept going "C'mon lah, take it. No, seriously, I didn't do anything to it. C'mon lah, just take it!" And I kept going, "Um, no, it's okay. I really don't want it?" AND HE JUST KEPT BUGGING ME TO TAKE IT, and fellow witty wombat just stood there laughing. (No help at all!) Haha. So I was getting freaked out and we smiled and walked away, and he shouted after us, "BORINGGG." Talk about pushy salesmen.

Yes, so after that rather strange and freaky encounter, we headed down to cineleisure and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks. I hereby proclaim that Theodore is my new love <3 He's the cutest of them all! After that we headed back to WW's house and we had an intense wii-playing session, which I have to admit is really fun and pretty awesome. Not to mention checking out facebook and reading trashy tabloids and talking about grey's! WW LOVE MANZXZ.

What can I say? AWESOME DAY (:

2007-12-25T08:57:00.000+08:00

Favourite lyrics of the moment (:

There's no combination of words
I could put on a back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepia toned loving

Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

2007-12-25T08:42:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Hm, so today's itinery includes: Lunch at the Hyatt (Straits Kitchen!) and watching National Treasure at Cathay afterwards!

Sitting at a mahogany table, my thumb deftly slips across the numbered keypad on my handphone, punching numbers with a puzzling vengeance. As the screen flashes to life before my eyes, a myriad of confusing, jarring colours leap out at me yet all I seem to notice are the words. With each black stroke, my heart seems to plunge further and further into the cold, murky, uninviting waters of disbelief. Then, an unsuspecting intervention. "Who'll be having the Noble Riesling 2004?" It's a polite, polished voice.

And, I raise my head.

2007-12-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

I'M BACKKKKKKK.

It's so good to be home, even though I miss New Zealand and all. So many things seemed to have happened since I've last been in Singapore and I'm not sure whether to feel overwhelmed or just happy to be back. But anyway, expect a longgg post on my holiday soon, hopefully with pictures yeah (:

It's Christmas eve today, but somehow I don't feel as excited about Christmas as I used to. Anyway, plans for today include: last minute christmas gift wrapping/ washing machine hunting with mummy/ going to Christmas Eve party at my great grandmother's house! YAY. So right now, I'm waiting for my mum (who takes forever to get ready to go out) so we can go washing machine hunting.

I need to watch some movies. List of movies to watch includes: National Treasure: Book of Secrets/ Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium/ Enchanted/ I Am Legend. Anyone want to be my movie partner? You'll make me a very happy girl (:

Ooh, I finally hear my mum coming out, washing machine hunting has hereby commenced :D Can't wait for oh-so-exciting 'moping session' with witty wombat 2 this thursday!

2007-12-06T11:59:00.000+08:00

HELLO NEW ZEALAND.

Goodbye Singapore for the next two weeks!

2007-12-03T08:16:00.000+08:00

I'm back from the distant land of Beijinggg!
I know I haven't exactly been the most active blogger lately, but I'm trying here. Okay, so the trip was quite fun apart from the fact that the food was reallly horrible (not exaggerating here!) and I fell sick and vomitted and everything. It was actually meant to be a Badminton training trip, but I seriously think that we probably spent more time goofing around and sightseeing than actually training, which is fine by me. Hahaha, I hope we get to go to Hong Kong next year! Veryyy good place to shop (:

So, I'm off again this Friday to New Zealand (The land of the Sheep) and I won't be back till the 21st of December which seems oh-so-faraway. Just thinking about the length of time that I'll be gone makes me feel kind of scared about being detached from Singapore's reality. I don't think I'd ever want to come back. But I still will in the end because there're just too many wonderful people here that are definitely worth coming back for eh :D

I shall put up peekchas later if I feel like it. And if I don't, then too bad.
(See, told ya I was a lousy blogger. Lol.)

2007-11-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

So I've been MIA for a while, okay scratch that, more like a very longggg time. But anyway, I'm back and so much has happened since I last posted. It's been quite a whirlwind of emotions truthfully, especially with PB related stuff/ work. But it's all worth it in the end! (on this journey that never ends; keep the faith)

I've been meeting up with really good friends and catching up and having great gossip sessions about everything under the sun with them. Yeah, like that day I met up with Rach, Sarah Tan, Brenda & Simmy to watch The Gameplan and after that, we had a great um, talking session at Rach's house. Earlier this week, met Val and Jo for brunch and had loads of fun waiting for Ben n Jerry's to open so we could have ice cream for breakfast and then and Val's whole bikini-trying episode! Oh, and jo's dear dear trampoline which she nearly convinced Val to jump on with her! Ahh, they all make me happy (:

Leaving for China this saturday morning at around 7.30am and won't be back till the 30th of November at 6am - what an unearthly hour, seriously. Sooo, I've been winter clothes shopping as well and welllll, it's just been a really busy busy busy school holiday so far; probably one of the busiest yet.

Okay, I'm not making much sense now, maybe because it's past midnight and yes, I do make it a point to sleep early because I'm desperately trying to avoid eyebags and horrible dark circles around my eyes. And ooh, I'm really excited about breakfast tomorrow because I'm going to try drinking coffee as a "Breakfast drink" instead of Milo/ Horlicks, and I know it's not really something to get all excited about, but that's just what the idea of coffee does to me :D

I'm typing in really long sentences now.
Definitely time to catch some shut-eye.

2007-09-16T21:33:00.000+08:00

May be going to California for a road trip at the end of this year (:
Hopefully, if everything goes right, we'll start from San Francisco and then make our way pass the Grand Canyon and everything to Las Vegas. Just thinking of it makes me smile; I love travelling. Being far away from Singapore life has a somewhat comforting and therapeutic effect on me. Knowing that I'm in this place that's untouchable, where no one exists to throw a math assignment at me, or rant at me for not practising my piano, it's just so.. -surreal and incredible. The feeling's beyond my most limited descriptive skills :D

sometimes, I just wish I could escape.

2007-09-05T08:26:00.001+08:00

Yesterday

Morning-
went for a morning jog and then quickly rushed home to shower and change for outing with Val and Jo.

Afternoon-
Met them at the taka food court, it's become like our meeting place everytime we go out. Then Val got her chewy fudgy brownie and after eyeing the lovely cream puffs we walked over to lido. I got my chocolate cream chip frappuchino & Jo and val got their bubble tea, so everyone was happy. Then we sat around talking before heading downstairs to Topshop, tried on some clothes, managed to buy a top! (yay) Hmm, then we bought tickets to watch 881, along with this humungous bucket of popcorn :D

After the show ended, Jo wanted her mud pie, so we took a bus to island creamery! I got my reverso ice cream! So goooooood. Then we had a pretty interesting conversation, haha. After that, we walked to Raffles Town club and then I took a bus home with Val :D

I need to start studying.
Val & Jo, must have study group session soonnnnn!

2007-08-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

PIANO EXAM TOMORROWWWW
somone save me quick.

2007-08-26T08:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a pretty fun day :D

Morning
Went down to Ang Mo Kio hub (for the very first time!) to watch Hairspray with Eenette, I bought the tickets first and to my utter dismay, I found that I had purchased couple seats! Yes, couple seats. We soon discovered that "couple seats" meant that there was no armrest between the two seats, so that couples could cuddle up together, I suppose. When we found out we laughed our heads off and the couple cuddling up next to us in the backrow looked quite irritated, whoooops. Had Ben n' Jerrys and Eenette had her Oreo Cheesecake, yay. OH, and the movie was sooo good, Nikki Blonsky is terribly cute (: And eenette screamed when Zac Efron and Nikki Blonsky kissed causing the whole cinema to turn and stare at us, haha.

After that I cabbed down to Thomson Plaza to NTUC to buy ingredients for my cooking session in the afternoon. Met my mum there and had lunch together with her after doing grocery shopping. Then, I went home after that.

Afternoon
I made peanut rocher! I just had this cooking fetish & anyway, it was supposed to be a trial cooking session before my grandma's birthday tomorrow. I'm making peanut rocher for her birthday tomorrow, very exciting. The chocolates turned out okaaay I suppose, the ones I made in school were so much better. I think I should have bought dark chocolate instead of Cadbury :D

Dinner
Went down to the club for dinner at Jackson Miller's which was supposed to be this really good western restaurant, but it took ages for the food to actually be served. The cod fish was yummy and the bruschetta with cheese spread was fab.

And that was my day.

2007-08-24T22:56:00.000+08:00

I come home, weary, tired and truth be told, feeling like I've just crawled out of the gates of Hell; the very least you could do, is to offer me a warm smile and ask how my day went. The very least you could do, is to cut me some slack and get off my back for those precious few minutes. I'm not even demanding you to be terribly accomodating towards me for the entire day, I'm just asking you to spare me a few moments; a few moments where perhaps the tightly-secured bonds of the mask you (so willingly) wear slip off, and the cold deameanour fades away like darkness into the light.

2007-08-21T20:59:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow's my chinese oral presentation & my history test.

So right now, in between cramming mind-boggling chinese phrases into my head, I'm desperately trying to revise the communism in Singapore. Right, great.

I am really really nervous about chinese oral presentation tomorrow, because of the simple fact that it is CHINESE. (Scary music comes on) I can't even string together a fluent sentence of Chinese, how am I going to come up with a full three minute presentation on a picture that I would only have three minutes to prepare for, before a class of 10 people & an examiner? Someone, please just stab me now. I'm really dreading it, I have this horrible feeling that I'm going to go up and stutter out a poorly constructed presentation that wouldn't even allow me to earn a passing grade.

OH GOSHHHHHH shall not think about it anymore.
I can't wait for the September holidays

2007-08-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

Siete troppo bello solo da essere allineare.

risparmi me per favore

2007-08-16T21:43:00.000+08:00

Standing amidst the sea of faces, she stretched.
Searing pain was imminent, yet she bit her lip, though it failed to snuff out the cries of her sanity from within. While the others chattered about matters of hardly more depth than a puddle of water; saltwater rivers formed on both of her rosy cheeks.

2007-08-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

wednesday!
Went to school clad in red&white for National Day celebrations which were pretty fun, I spent most of the time talking to dear banana anyway. (Remember, two rest days a week okay!)Stayed back till around 2pm for a definitely yawn-worthy Speech Day rehearsal where I spent most of my time snoozing, and then I went home. Went to Angus Steak House at Taka for dinner! The steak was so good (: Mummy and Daddy had the Waygu but I stuck to my tenderloin steak which was equally yummy.

thursday!
Woke up really early and headed down to Peirce reservoir to meet Eenette, dayna and Em, to take pictures of monkeys! Then, rushed down to my piano teacher's house for a mini "music gathering" where I played my examination pieces, it was catastrophic (: And then, I had a late lunch with my family and for dinner, we stayed in to watch the NDP parade but ended going out to buy dinner instead, haha.

friday!
Godforbid anyone should have piano lesson at 9am in the morning, but I did anyway. Mummy left for her shopping trip to Vietnam that morning :( After that I went down with daddy & my brother to Paragon and ate at PS Cafe; the marshmallow chocolate fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce was positively sinful! Hmmm then I walked around orchard for a while with my brother and then we cabbed home together and stopped on the way back to rent a disc to watch. In the evening, I went to watch Rush Hour 3, Chris Tucker really outdid himself this time :D

saturday!
Went to Mendaki this morning to hold our very first "interaction session" with the children! Although only like 3 came, they were all really sweet and adorable. And anyway, we had a really fun time playing in the playroom there (: Then, I cabbed down to orchard and walked around Taka for a while, finally met Val outside Pop Doh at 2.30pm and we had a really good catching-up session :D From the cream puffs, to sipping banana chocolate ice-blended & mocha, to the really cheap but yummy 60 cents macs ice cream, to ogling at the savoury chicken balls in the food court and finally, walking around the entire shopping mall just talking about everything, it felt so good! Then I went home and went running with my daddy for an hour or so, had a drink at the club and then went home. Pepper lunch for dinner!

Sunday!
Had Macdonald's breakfast, oh-so-good! Went for badminton training, came home and showered before heading down to the airport to pick up mumsie! She bought loads of bags and yummy lotus seed snacks from Vietnam :D

So that was my weekend.

2007-08-09T07:26:00.000+08:00

it's national day today!
Going to meet eenette, dayna and em at upper peirce later to do our RS project stuff, thennn I've got some piano recital-cum-practice thingy at my teacher's house at eleven ): Oh gosh,I think I'm going to mess up all my pieces & considering that my exam's in like 19 days time, that is really really bad.

But after that, I've got the entire day free! YAY, I want to go shopping with mumsie before she leaves for vietnam. Then'll maybe I'll come home and watch a bit of the national day parade, I don't usually watch it. Not a very patriotic Singaporean I guess :D

2007-08-07T21:35:00.000+08:00

5 ways to know that you're on the brink of exhaustion and in serious need of some snooze time.

1. you sleep in the car on the way to school in the morning and manage to stay asleep, despite your head banging frequently on the window on which you happen to be resting your head on.

2. During english lesson you stare at your worksheet for five full minutes before realising it's there, and then you proceed to write your very own name wrongly on the worksheet.

3. You don't go down for recess as per usual, but instead, stay in class to sleep.

4. During philosophy, you end up staring with half-lidded eyes at nothing in particular on the floor for a long period of time.

5. When you smile or laugh, it seems as though sotong balls are hanging from under your eyes.

I just came back from running 10km.
Am extremely tired & shall go to bed soon.
But I have to say, the run was well worth it (:

2007-08-01T21:43:00.001+08:00

Here's a quick shoutout to some people before I get back to slogging my guts out, revising chinese composition for my test this fridayyy ):

Val!
I know this is two weeks too late, but congratulations on making it into VJC! I knew you could do it :D Even though it means leaving certain things behind, look ahead and remember that those memories and special moments will always be there, no matter where you are. You've been the best lately and I'll call you soon, promise!

Sylvia Look!
I bet you did so wellll in your table tennis competition, you represented Singapore and did us proud yeah :D Stop worrying so much, not just because of the crows feet you'll get on your lovely 'wayang' face, but because no one deserves to feel that wretched!

Rach Tan!
Dearest witty wombat, you are loved! & surprisingly that's really all I have to say (:

Yeah, well this shoutout's specially for the three of you because I know you guys haven't been feeling all the bright and cheery lately, so hopefully this puts a little smile on your faces.

2007-07-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - done.

After four and a half hours this morning, I've finally finished reading it :D Because I didn't really have time to read it yesterday, I went to watch the movie instead! I feel awfully sad that I'll never be able to purchase another shiny new copy of a Harry Potter book from popular ever again. But all good things must come to an end, I suppose. Just like how I mourned after the last movie of Lord of the Rings was screened, hahaha. Personally, I felt that the last book was jam-packed with events and that answers to previous mysteries were popping up like flowers in spring everywhere! Other than that, it was a good read and I really enjoyed it.

Skipped training this morning and went to pig out on ice cream at Island Creamery instead. Ate one entire rainbow-sprinkled cone of Burnt Caramel by myself, before sharing half a banana split with my dad (: It was positively sinful. Thennn, went running and managed to cover around 8km in 50 minutes, yay. After that, I had dinner at my grandma's house and I am going to watch Ugly Betty in approximately half and hour's time. Gosh, can't wait, ugly betty can get quite bitchy at times, but hey, that's what we're paying for.

If you have the DVD/VCD to One Tree Hill Season 3, The OC or The Hills, I will seriously love you :D

2007-07-20T22:39:00.001+08:00

I am waking up really early tomorrow morning just so I can walk out to Popular before 7am to get my precious Harry Potter book. Call me crazy or whatever, but I can't wait to save it from the brutal hands of the Popular staff members. (okay, indulge me for a while, I know I'm over-exaggerating here, since most popular staff are generally quite nice & friendly :D)

Hmmm, after that I've got something on from 9-11am and I'm free for the rest of the day, till night time when I'm going down to Great World to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, like finally.

This is rather random, but I've just realised what I completely lack people skills and am a total loner. This's kinda depressing.

2007-07-14T15:54:00.000+08:00

I ate so much today I swear I'm going to bloat up into a balloon and fly away into the sky, rather like Harry's aunt in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban where he gets so pissed with her that he makes her bloat up. I'm feeling reeealllyyyy fat right now, need to lose weight. Load the cannons and prepare the guns, I declare a war against cellulite!

watching transformers tonighttttttt
:D

2007-07-14T08:18:00.000+08:00

I, Jessica Chan Wen Ting, hereby pledge that I will treat Eenette Wong Mei Yin to Island Creamery/ Ben and Jerry's and will definitely make time to go out with her someday.

I seriously love this girl to the max <3

2007-07-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

Let’s go to a rave and behave

like we’re tripping simply ’cause

we’re so in love

I am having an egg tart fetish.

I craveee for egg tarts right now, the traditional flaky kind and the soft, buttery, melt-on-your-tongue, oh-so-delicious kind. Sad to say, I have not plucked up the courage to sample the dodgy, suspicious looking egg tarts that the store in school sells, because they're tucked away in a corner of the bread rack and well, I've never seen anyone actually buy/eat one. I simply had to go search for a bee-yoo-tee-ful picture of egg tarts on the web!

I shall stop thinking about egg tarts, it is becoming a very unhealthy obsession :D

2007-07-10T17:42:00.000+08:00

School today was just, wellllll... school :D
But the highlight of the day was swim finals! I went down to help lead cheers and kind of ra-ra the supporters and it turned out to be quite fun. RachT, Liting and I had very interesting conversations about Liting's unknowingly seductive looks and about subjects I'd rather not mention here for fear of tainting your minds. Hahahha. Oh oh and unexpected late afternoon showers (:

I've been cheering all afternoon and my voice is husky and oh-so-sexy.
Ooohhhh I'm bringing sexy backkk

2007-07-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 6.20am this morning. "Why?", you may ask in astonishment, eyes on the verge of popping out of their sockets and vein throbbing profusely at the side of your forehead. Well, simply, because I couldn't sleep.

Hahahaha. Yes, 'I couldn't sleep'. Not a phrase you hear very often since you often see people taking advantage of the breaks in between classes to catch some shut eye, albeit it being extremely short-lived. (Try five minutes at the very most.) Quite unbelievable since I survive on approximately 5-6 hours of sleep a day.

I am tired. It has become quite common for people to lament about the size of their eyebags, to grumble over their deprived sleeping time, to moan and sigh (rather melodramatically, I must add) over how they feel like giving up sometimes. But as I grapple with everyday tasks and struggle to keep afloat among the raging workload, I realise that I appreciate and love life greatly. I admire every single detail, every little, seemingly insignificant moment, the words we exchange, the little pleasures we get from laughing and smiling. Life is beautiful, it truly is. All we need to do, is have a little faith.

2007-07-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

Today, Jessica woke up at 6am on the dot very obediently when her maid came to wake her up. She dragged herself out of bed after a mere 5 minutes of squinting at the bright, fluorescent light shining directly on her face. After a arduous process of brushing her teeth and getting ready for school, she lumbers down the stairs for breakfast and tucks in rather happily into a breakfast of biscuits and light, fluffy, pandan-green, chiffon cake.

She gets into her father's car and alights outside school earlier than usual at around 6.45am. She makes a concerted effort to pay attention during most of her classes in school, only nearly falling asleep once during chinese lesson. Other than that, she has had a normal day in school.

She trudges out of the school gates at 3.10 and gets into her mother's car. She is whizzed to math tuition after a scrumptious tea of siewmai and mango prawn roll, which she enjoyed greatly because dim sum is her latest obsession. Despite a ferocious craving for egg tarts, she manages to soothe her deprived stomach and enters her tuition centre with a bounce in her step.

She stumbles out of tuition at 5.30pm and heads home. After a quick shower, she heads out with her parents to eat her favourite Yong Tau Foo at a restaurant near her house. Extremely satisfied with dinner, she heads home only to be confronted with homework. She starts a blog post but leaves it hanging rather abruptly as she needs to go and study physics.

2007-06-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

I could force the corners of my mouth into a smile at all times; I could laugh quite convincingly at every joke you throw at me; I could probably look at you straight in the eye and say, "I'm fine. Never been better." even when I feel as though my insides have been gnawed away, leaving raw, ugly, painful scars. But guess what, I'm not going to. Because I believe life has its ups and downs and ultimately, I don't just want to be remembered as someone indomitable, ever-enthusiastic and spirited; I also want to be remembered as someone who had flaws, who had her own little imperfections, who occasionally tasted the bitter, salty taste of her tears.

would you still call me superman?

2007-06-30T08:44:00.000+08:00

Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

2007-06-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

This morning, I went to meet Ms Ong, my RS mentor to discuss our final report which is due this monday. I don't know how we're going to get it done, but I love my groupmates and I'm sure we'll somehow manage to produce brilliant work in the end!

Then, outing with witty wombat #2! Haha, I had such a great time today, probably one of the best days of my entire holidays. So, we visited the guides funfair for a bit and spent all our coupons on 12 tubs of Anderson's ice cream and power-walked back to her house before it all melted. Hmm then we spent 6 hours playing sims, practising our "lian" pouts and just talking utter nonsense. We also filmed a video on behalf of China Airlines! We seriously did the whole "before landing, secure all trays and stow all overhead baggage" and "in the event of an emergency, if oxygen masks are provided, attend to yourself first before attending to your child. It is normal for the oxygen masks not to inflate to their maximum size."

Pictures up soon!

2007-06-21T09:11:00.001+08:00

So, I'm back from Kuala lumpur! I didn't take many pictures, but I did manage to shop quite a bit & the food was so goooddd. I think I've put on at least 1kg, at the very least. The roadside foodstalls sold the best food, if you don't mind the grime and all. And the nasi lemak there is to die for, seriously. The stores they had there were pretty much the same as what they have in Singapore, mmhmm. But I really enjoyed myself (: Here are pictures!

Meet Bridget, my new best friend!
(Yes, I named the bag Bridget.)

Here are some of the places I visited in KL.

Ooh la la.

2007-06-21T08:48:00.000+08:00

tagboard replies!
sorry, I'm rather slow.

rachel tan: haha fine, but group six rocked too!
jane: lol, mitsubishi group? is that what we're being called now? :D
emily: hey em!
mandi: fineee, I'm glad to have such adoring fans, haha.
val: of course I remember the coffee bean incident! how could I forget?
James: yeah, our group really rocked (:
vivian: um, it's kind of a long story. I'll attempt to explain it to you the next time I see you.
lynnie: hey lynnie! how are you doing?
gloria: GLORIAAAA
eenette: we have to go out soon okay!
nandita: haha, it's comforting knowing that I looked like a milkmaid!
sylvia: Do I miss you? hmmm, I'll seriously have to think about that :D

2007-06-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

My trip to Hong Kong has been cancelled because my brother's sick and my mum doesn't want to go for such a long trip and leave him behind. Which means that I have to settle with going to KL over the weekend. Aaaahhh, I was so looking forward to going to Hong Kong because I heard the shopping there was goooddd. Trust something like this to happen, the only highlight of my entire holiday and it's got to go down the drain.

Everyone knows I'm in,
Over my head, Over my head.

2007-06-08T15:47:00.000+08:00

yayyyyy
I can't wait for next wednesday; HONG KONG is going to be so awesome, I'm just salivating thinking about the shopping (aaah) and the little roadside foodstalls. Just came back from a wee kim wee tournament match and I played first singles, and lost. I didn't play well at all. Hmmm it's really disappointing, not to mention frustrating, but I'm going to work harder & not slack off at trainings anymore. But I'm pretty much happy right now because I feel so hyped up anddd I have a pedicure later with mumsie :D

2007-06-07T22:31:00.001+08:00

Take Jessica to see Ocean's Thirteen or Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer, and she will be very very very happy :D

2007-06-06T20:54:00.000+08:00

Symposium 2008 was a BLAST.
I had a great time, kudos to the organising team, you guys really put in a lot of hard work (: GO GROUP SIX! You guys were seriously the best team ever & our performance rocked, what with all the "mitsubishi teppanyaki honda kinokuniya" gibberish and TEA. Hahaha. I also learnt a lot about other prefectorial boards and student councils, so I did gain quite a bit from attending symposium. I'm glad I made a lot of new friends from all the participating schools and we had a heck lot of fun. From the icebreakers (when zhenling very unwisely called me a loser in front of all 100 participants!), to the station games and the performances, symposium was a greatttt experience! I shall put up pictures of symposium and my lovely group when I have the time (:

2007-06-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

Pictures from the Mango dressing room where we had lots of fun - trying on the bizarre clothes and laughing at each other, and looking like milk maids :D

Hmm outing today with Val and Jo was greeaaat, though I only managed to get one - yes one, don't laugh - top from Pull and Bear. Val and I practically attacked the foodstalls at the Taka food area and gorged ourselves silly with Beard Papa's sinful cream puffs and a rum & raisin brownie! Then we went to Coffee Bean for an ice mocha & chai tea latte while waiting for Jo to arrive. THEN, the shopping frenzy began and lasted all the way till around 6.30? Which means I somehow, managed to keep pushing through the throngs of shoppers for five whole hours, hahaha. We had a lot of fun in Mango, grabbing the most bizarre items of clothing and trying them on, and then having a laughing fit in the changing rooms. I think the sales assistants at Mango must hate us. Hmmm then we hit Topshop, Forever 21, Zara, Esprit, Guess (Where val was captivated by several studded bustiers, haha.) and I can't remember the rest.

it was a great day filled with rum & raisin brownies, cream puffs, shiny shopping bags, sore feet from walking, queuing for changing rooms, pushing through shoppers, Famous Amos cookies, trying on shoes and the best thing, laughter (:

2007-06-02T11:00:00.000+08:00

I am seriously deprived. I have NOT been out with ANY of my friends this holidays and ONE ENTIRE WEEK has passed. But all that's about to change becauseee I'm going out with Val and Jo in approximately 2 hours time, so I'm a happy girl right now. And this is when I insert a big big big smiley face! :D

2007-05-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

I am still fuming over the ending of Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End. IT'S JUST SO UNFAIR. And Orlando Bloom looked so much hotter in this movie than in the first two movies, in which he just paled in comparison to the charismatic Captain Jack Sparrow. Don't get me wrong, I think his swaggering walk and "Savvy?" are still extremely sexy. Haha, I mean, he IS Johnny Depp after all (:

The show was so-so, I suppose. The plot was so convoluted that I was struggling to keep up with all the schemes and characters popping up at the most random of times. Not to mention the horrible horrible ending which totally ruined the next half an hour of my life :D haha, but anyway, I enjoyed myself watching it.

Hmmm training again tomorrow! Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I desperately need to improve. My badminton is going no where, I'm stuck in a rut, struggling to crawl out but always falling back in. It gets kind of depressing after a while, but talking to my friends and looking at photo albums really help to cheer me up. Haha, I have this weird fascination for looking through past holiday photo albums, it gives me this sense of nolstagia and a wistful, longing hunger for something I can't have.

Sometimes I really question my worth,
I don't want to be a nobody.

2007-05-30T08:58:00.000+08:00

Tumbled out of bed at 6.55am yesterday and discovered that I was supposed to meet Em, Dayna & Eenette at the Singapore Zoo at 8.30am. Managed to catch a ride from dad to the Zoo and discovered that I wasn't so late after all (:

It was fun going to Zoo, it was like reliving the memories of my childhood. Except that suddenly the exhibits didn't seem oh-so-great and the shows didn't seem so how-did-they-manage-to-do-that-ish. But no doubt it was fab having a day off although it did pour halfway and we were soaked through because we unwisely decided to exercise and not buy tram tickets? Hahahha, but somehow, being soaked through and walking on squishy, wet sneakers kind of enhanced the whole "Zoo experience" :D

I didn't bring a camera, darn, so there aren't much pictures, but I'll put them up once I manage to get them from Emily. THIS SATURDAY THIS SATURDAY, can't wait!

2007-05-28T08:51:00.001+08:00

5 movies that Jessica wants to watch!

1) Pirates of the Carribean 3
johnny depp! johnny depp!
2) The Rise of the Silver Surfer
3) Shrek 3
4) Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix
draco malfoy! draco malfoy!
5) Ocean's Thirteen
well, actually, I won't mind not watching this one.

2007-05-28T08:44:00.000+08:00

I just realised that not many people (except those who check faithfully, which will probably be no one) will know that I "re-activated" my blog. But, I kind of feel reassured by that fact. I don't want my blog to become too publicised. In fact, the only reason why I even bothered to start posting again is only for my friends whom I seldom contact nowadays, just to let them know how I'm doing, in case they ever get curious.

The June holidays are here! which means more sleepovers, more outings, more shopping sprees, and more family & friend time (: Oh yeah, I can't wait.

2007-05-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

Had a lovely long conversation with val last night which stretched over nearly 2 hours. Talking to her never fails to put a smile on my face and it was so good just catching up. I had A LOT to tell her and now I feel as if a load's been taken off my chest.

And we were reminiscing about our last sleepover at her house, just val, jo and I, and how we watched the spongebob movie and ended up really drunk on chocolates. I've still got the pictures, shall post them up sometime if I don't feel too lazy.

I've decided to reopen my blog again because I want to let the people I don't see very often know how I'm doing. Haha, I realised that through my conversation with val, so here I am (:

2007-03-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

I'm shutting down this blog since I hardly blog anymore and I've been kind of busy lately. Thanks for taking the time to read it anyway (: I'll probably leave the entries here since this blog holds sentimental value to me and in case I do decide to start blogging one day!

till then <3

2007-03-01T00:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sick of smiling and pretending everything's fine when it's not. Sometimes you wonder how many smiley faces someone could possibly insert into one blog post, it's amazing how they manage to squeeze it in after the end of every sentence. Then you wonder whether it's just a habit or just muscle memory, whether they're just so used to pressing those two buttons ':' and ')' without thinking or considering what such a simple expression means. Or maybe to them it just seems empty without that smiley face to fill up that conspicuous gap between two sentences. I admit I am one of those people who just randomly fill up my post with smiley faces when the truth is, I don't remotely feel like smiling at all.

2007-02-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

if this is how being fourteen feels like, then I don't wanna be fourteen any longer.

It's not right to make someone cry on their birthday, but I love you all the same. Sometimes, it gets really scary, you know? I just don't want to see it fall apart.

Thanks to all the people who wished me happy birthday, love you guys deep deep long time (:

I just ran 5 km, it didn't make me feel any better.

2007-02-17T11:54:00.000+08:00

here's a video of arwen and aragorn, i thought it was a really good video, quite touching (: it made me realise how much i missed watching lord of the rings! i feel like going on a lord of the rings marathon right now.

2007-02-17T11:08:00.000+08:00

valentine's survey, as requested by eenette wong (:

do you like anyone?
yup, you!

how many letters does his/ her name have?
haha, whose name?

said 'i love you' and meant it?
yeah

waited all night for a phonecall that never came?
uh huh.

sad and looked up at the stars?
yes, but the night sky in singapore isn't that picturesque

DO YOU PREFER:

flowers or chocolate?
i like both!

grey or black?
blackkk

lust or love?
haha. love would be nice.

sunrise or sunset?
i like both, but sunset more than sunrise (:

m&ms or skittles?
give me m&ms anytime!

NON VALENTINE'S DAY QUESTIONS

are you in any relationship?
nope and proud of it.

do you like having a valentine?
everyone wants somebody to care, right?

does anyone like/love you currently?
you'll have to ask that person yourself (:

gift to receive on that day?
i love surprises!

is a little kiss (peck on the cheek) during school on valentine's day sweet?
mmhmm, depends on who it's from though.

have you gotten something from someone on the day?
yeah, heaps of chocolate and sweets haha.

and i'm done with the quiz (:

2007-02-14T19:49:00.000+08:00

happy valentine's everyone <3

thanks for lovely presents everyone! the chocolates, sweets, notes and the pretty pretty balloon from eenette (: I didn't get any roses this year ): haha, only food. BUT i like chocolate, so i'm not complaining :D

why won't you just let it go?
i don't really care what you say,
it doesn't mean anything to me.
i want things to just stay the way they are.
everything is so screwed up.
i hate this.

2007-02-07T20:50:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW.
i am fat fat fat and chubbyyyy which is NOT GOOD. I hereby declare an official war against cellulite. YEAH, go jess, you can do this.

I shall cease all consumption of junk food, sweet drinks, deep fried or oily food, food with a lot of saturated fat or transfat, food with too much carbo and lastly, I shall limit the number of times I eat chocolate a week to ONE TIME ):

see! that's how determined I am.

2007-02-05T19:39:00.000+08:00

i haven't been updating my blog recently because right now, it's badminton competition period and I keep missing lessons, so the homework is currently piling up ): aahhh. I really don't want to train any longer. It's like sunday training, monday training, tuesday competition, wednesday training, thursday competition and friday training. That's like SIX days a week. I know some people train lots and lots, like those in sports school, and don't whine a single bit. BUT i'm not of those people :D

YAY. So chinese new year is cominggg! ooh lala. Can't wait to go chinese new year clothes shopping! dearest eenette went CNY shopping yesterday and we had a highly amusing conversation last night, where we finally came to a verdict that both of us need maximiser bras! lollll (:

i am a strong believer in retail therapy.

2007-02-01T17:45:00.000+08:00

haha! we didn't have cheerleading practice today in the end, but i still had a lot of fun! Because becky came over and started playing with our pom poms and she couldn't find the handle. So she had to spread the fluffy pom pom on the floor just to find it! haha, it was so funnyyyy. And then she kept testing people to see how fast they could find the handle! :D Yup, and she wanted us to dance for her, but we didn't want to. So she kept begging liangzi to dance for her in CHINESE! And i think Becky doesn't know chinese because she was like "i'm very SHENG1 QI4 if you don't TIAO4 WU3 for me!" LOLLLL.

then we stayed back till around 4.55 practising by ourselves in the foyer. Hmmm, yeah, then we went home after that and I gave eenette a lift to thomson plaza! She's going to buy Zan's birthday present there and I'm going to split costs with her (: OH YEAH.

Today was quite a good day, so I'm happy happy now.

2007-01-29T18:43:00.000+08:00

a big thank you to all those that were there for me today, when I wasn't feeling too good (: It really meant a lot to me and well, it really showed the love that runs through our batch. I love you Fior. Be strong and keep the faith! To all those who are feeling horrible right now, remember that she belongs to heaven now and she's safe in the arms of God.

the long and winding road goes on
if i fall behind, please carry on
i will keep the faith in you
be brave.

another stuppendously big thank you goes to my dearest eenette and kristie! :D who were there for me throughout it all, cheering me up, trying to make me laugh and assuring me that everything was going to be okay. You guys made me feel so much better and well, i love you millions. And also to the rest of the other people, my parents and fourians who tried to cheer me up! thank you lots.

I will be strong and keep the faith because right now, I know she's an angel in heaven.

2007-01-27T21:51:00.000+08:00

imagine picking up the phone and hearing something that you didn't expect, not in the least. Imagine staring into the phone receiver for a minute in silence, completely shocked. And then imagine crying when harsh reality hits you 5 minutes later. Though i'm sure i'm not the worst affected or the ones feeling the most pain right now, I was still shocked.

This song pretty much expresses what I'm feeling.

And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind
never fading with the sunset when the rain set in.
And your footsteps will always fall here,
among England's greenest hills;
your candle's burned out
long before your legend ever will.

2007-01-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

sometimes, when you try too hard, people can see right through you. I don't know why and I don't know when you decided that you wanted to change yourself, but i'm telling you now, don't lose yourself along the way and simply go with the flow. Change is a good thing, but conforming yourself to something that you are clearly not, is not right. be yourself, be YOU.

you're fading everyday,
& i can see right through you.

2007-01-22T18:23:00.000+08:00

here's a rather interesting conversation I had with this weirdo who added me on msn.

sam says:
how old u
sam says:
r u
jess! would you still call me superman? says:
umm, 14
sam says:
rlly like u
jess! would you still call me superman? says:
huh?
sam says:
im not lieing
sam says:
jess! would you still call me superman? says:
umm.
jess! would you still call me superman? says:
i don't even know you
sam says:
ya i know
jess! would you still call me superman? says:
so how can you like me when i don't even know you?!
sam says:
its ascret ways to ind emails
sam says:
may be i can know u & ucan know me by chating

and that's when I got super freaked and immediately blocked him (:
hahahahaha.

2007-01-21T16:41:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging recently.
I may consider just shutting down this blog permanently. I've been so tired lately, tired of everything. Thank god competition starts this tuesday! i need it like so bad. I don't get to miss art though ):

EENETTE AND I ARE UNCOOL PEOPLE ): We need some coolness, so please kindly donate to the help Jessica-and-Eenette-become cool fund! It seriously goes to those in need of coolness. HAHAHAHAHA.

2007-01-14T10:51:00.000+08:00

and we can built this thing together,
standing strong forever
nothing's going to stop us now
and if this world runs out of lovers,
we'll still have each other
nothing's gonna stop us
nothing's gonna stop us now..

Sec one orientation 07 is officially over! ): Felt like crying during the sec one orientation concert/ closing ceremony. I didn't really want it to end. But ah well. All good things must come to an end. yupp, so right now, I've got to cram like two days worth of homework into a few hours! WHY? because I had to stay until like 10.30 for night surprise on friday and on saturday, I spent the whole day at sec one orientation again! So I had no time to do my homework at all, which means I may be screwed. PLUS, i have SIX drawings to complete? GAH.

<3! fiorRGSPB.

2007-01-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

today was such a jam-packed day! It started off with learning the hand actions to "Nothing's Going to Stop Us Now" outside the PB room, which was quite interesting!

Then we had Raffles Initiation session FIVE! Today was the VERY FIRST TIME that the sec ones were super enthusiastic and they really sounded like TRUE BLUE RAFFLESIANS! Haha, I'm so proud of them (: It made everything so worth it. Just to be able to participate in events like these are worth the tears shed and the weariness.

Then, it was back to class for boring lesson until assembly where we had a discipline talk! There was a spot check conducted but my entire class was FULLY LEGAL! No low socks, belt, stuff like that, so I didn't have to book anyone. :D yay, I love my class! TEO ZHEN LING, if you're reading this, I just wanna say I love you and the rest of FIOR is behind you all the way! <3

Hmm. Then it was the oh-so-exciting STATION GAMES! I followed liting around to take photographs and it was pretty fun. After station games, Fior stayed back awhile to practise our night surprise item! AND after that we had lunch. DAYNA SIM, I LOVE YOU OKAY, and stop feeling guilty about something that you may not have done! WE ALL HAD A PART IN IT, we will bear the consequences TOGETHER!

Night surprise was REALLY FUN and enjoyable! Haha. Fea's item was really funnyyy! HAHA (: Especially Zhen Er, Claire and Xin Er (with the rose in her mouth!) Fila's item was really groovy, their dance choreography was nice and they all looked really cool, with their caps and sunglasses and all.

OKAY, that's about it. That's just a rather brief overview of what happened today, I didn't want to bore you guys with my long-winded stories! :D

I love fior, fila and fea very much.

2007-01-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

If I go crazy
then will you still call me superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite.

I'm so paranoid now. I recheck, double check and CHECK AGAIN, just to make sure everything's okay, just to make sure everything's perfect. But I always feel like I left something out. I'm really scared right now, I've got so much to lose.

This is so darn depressing.

2007-01-10T20:32:00.000+08:00

everything just has to suck, doesn't it?
It's only the second week of school and already I've made so many mistakes. I tried, I really did. So I'm not little miss perfect but I really want to do this and I believe I CAN DO THIS. I don't know if I can keep it up till the end of this year. No matter what I do, everything just seems to fall apart. I used to think it was really easy and now, I don't know anymore. There's so much pressure, I just want to curl up in a corner right now and sleep the next few months away.

would you still call me superman?

2007-01-07T18:05:00.000+08:00

i think the dork dance that benji and travis did is so annoyingly cute! haha. SO HERE IT IS! watch it okay, it's worth your 3 minutes AND 22 seconds.

2007-01-07T17:57:00.000+08:00

Just five minutes ago, I thought I was going blind. I was really and truly frightened. There're so many things I have yet to do in life, this is not to say I can't do them if I'm blind, but it would be so much harder not having the priviledge of sight. but the moment's passed and well.. (:
you know those blurred spots you sometimes get in your vision? like after you take a photograph and the flash of the camera is annoyingly blinding. yeah, just five minutes ago, for some strange reason, about one quarter of my vision was blurred and I couldn't focus on objects. Like I would look at my reflection and see only one eye because I couldn't focus on the other. haha, if you get what i mean. It was just REALLY HORRIBLE and i hope it never happens to me again. I was having a panic attack back there :D I LOVE SEEING! And i have a newfound respect for people who have lost their sight, it must be hard on them.

2007-01-06T16:58:00.000+08:00

there have been a lot of trying moments lately, it seems like everyone was going through a rough patch. It's only been three days in school and i've already cried, for something which wasn't worth it. I apologise if i've snapped at anyone these few days, I haven't been feeling remotely bright or cheery these few days.

But the secondary one orientation has definitely perked me up! My sec one juniors are getting more enthusiastic during Raffles initiation sessions, where we learn school cheers and songs! Seeing the new sec ones help me to take my mind off things (: Some of them are incredibly cute! dayna told me that they wanted to be prefects in the future, because they liked to wear our school tie! I laughed my head off when i heard that, but i am really happy that they want to be prefects! (:

It makes me feel like what I do as a PIT, is all worth it. Yes, it's not always smooth sailing but we'll make it through together as a batch. It's nice to know that you have people to fall back on, people who are going through the same difficulties as you and people that care about you. I remember something that Ms Picca shared with us. It goes something like this: When the whole world if against you, an entire nation will be behind you.

i love rgspb and fior.

2007-01-04T19:36:00.000+08:00

this is a special shoutout to emily loh hui yi.
Thanks for cheering me up today! I really needed it! Thanks for being there when times were rough and lending a listening ear. I'm incredibly grateful to have you as a friend. I love you bestie! <3

ANOTHER DAY of orientation tomorrow! yay, how fun! (:
I love raffles initiation sessions because all the student leaders are so enthusiastic and it really rubs off! hahaha.

you think those words don't mean a thing
but the truth is they hurt more than you could imagine.

2007-01-01T17:08:00.000+08:00

i went furniture hunting at dempsey (is that how you spell it?) road with my family, today! but it was kind of hot and we were all getting really sweaty, so we gave up after looking around two furniture shops! hahaha. But the second furniture shop was really nice and "banyan tree resort-ish", it was so Balinese! When I get my own house in the future, i'm going to go back there and buy that super funky sofa/ loveseat thingy! :D then we went to the crystal jade korean branch/ ginseng chicken restaurant to eat! the beef was so so so good and i officially declare the kimchi isn't that nice anymore! it tasted weird and well, just weird (:

but i feel fat from all the eating this hols! haha. joelle and i still haven't tried out our exercise routines! BUT WE WILL, SOON! we are very determined people, yes we are! hahaha. I am officially declaring a war against cellulite!

today is a happy day! just count the number of exclaimation marks in this post! yayyyy (:

2006-12-29T23:28:00.001+08:00

204'07.

While I AM sad that they decided to split us up, I'm kind of looking forward to the new year as well. I have a feeling that '07 is going to be a very trying and exhausting year, what with more commitments and other stuff. BUT hopefully, I'll make it through in one piece! I'll miss my niners though! niners rock my world <3

emily loh hui yi!
fellow vice-chairperson who's always been there for me since day one! i'll be seeing a lot of you next year, i hope. Love you lots!

eenette wong mei yin!
hey honey dew banana/ moom! I'm so incredibly lucky that you're in my class next year, it's going to be really funnn! LOVES <3

dayna sim pei yin!
haha! dearest laughing buddy who laughs at nearly everything with me! who am i supposed to laugh with next year huh? :D love ya!

li yi hong!
Annie li ah hong! haha. What am i going to do without you next year? No more stealing of organic food! GASP. i'll miss youuu, love!

lee kyungtae!
hey my super cool korean bestie! (: you've been great and fun AND too skinny for your own good! hahahaa. love love! ;D

wen jiaying!
what can i say? You've just been FANTASTIC. thank god you're in my class next year! haha. i love you bestie!

that's the end of my shoutouts, and if i've missed anybody out, i'm awfully sorry!

2006-12-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

2006-12-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

I just don't wanna be anymore.

2006-12-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

i had sudden inspiration and decided to post!
Okay, so Rach tan and I had a oh-so-brilliant idea for a new inspirational/Adidas advertisement! Haha. We got it when we were at discipline day last saturday, but anyways. OKAY, so the start of the advertisement goes something like this: Rach tan is sitting on an ostrich (without any protection whatsoever) that is running at top speed, and she is screaming her lungs out. Then after that scene, the screen flashes just THREE words: Impossible is Nothing. hahaha. get it? It means that Rachel overcomes all her fears to ride an ostrich! ooh! i can picture the advertisement already. And when I become rich and famous, I won't forget you little people! :D HOHOHOHO.

"a man clad in slippers and a big gap between his two front teeth" as quoted from rach t's and my report on our visit to the Jemiyah Home for the Aged.
HAHAHAAHAHA.

2006-12-25T00:31:00.000+08:00

oh yes, did i mention that our batch finally has a name! OH YEAH. (: well, it's actually FIOR. And it means true in Irish, Gaelic. go us! We've already been through so much together! PIT camp, night surprise, all the numerous trainings and even moaning in pain TOGETHER after our first time wearing court shoes. We've got a longggg journey ahead of us, but we'll all make it through together!

so take my hand,
we'll make it through together.
please understand,
that i'll be there for you forever.

2006-12-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS
WITH LOVE.

it's 12.21am right now according to the clock on my computer! haha. This year's christmas party was fun (: I enjoyed myself loads. Thanks for the presents everyone.

a gorgeous puma handbag from my mum<3
a lovely t-shirt from my bro<3
a charm bracelet set from my cousin, zhengwen<3
a nice, velvety handphone pouch fromy my auntie and uncle<3
a jewellery box from my grandma<3
a dragonfly balancing thingy from uncle yichong<3
a turtle set from uncle joe<3

to all those people who're reading this right now, here's wishing you a fantabulous christmas this year and truckloads of love from me!
<3

2006-12-20T19:29:00.000+08:00

i'm sore and tired and just sick of everything.
someone just kill me now. today wasn't exactly the best of days, physical training was a nightmare, skipping for 15mins non stop, THEN the stupid arm thingy. After that, i went to get my contacts, and ended up with sore, tearing and red eyes from trying to put my contact lense in. Then, I have to go home by myself from the clinic, dragging my heavy badminton bag along. And i come home to a lukewarm reception and a whole lot of crap. AAAHHHHH.

i sound like a whiney brat.

2006-12-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

life isn't so good right now.
MAKE MY DAY, go shopping with me! (: haha. That would really cheer me up! Gosh darn it. I need to go christmas shopping! I haven't bought anything yetttt. This is bad bad bad. Anyway, the post with the photos (of australia) will have to be delayed. I'm being lazy. :D

I finally got my pretty green PB blazer! &I'll be getting my pumps and hopefully, stockings tomorrow! YAY. I feel accomplished.

Today was a busy day. Pre-orientation training from 8.45 to 2, followed by math tuition from 4.30 to 6pm and finally, piano lesson from 7pm to 8pm.

when you love somebody till the end of time
when you love somebody always on my mind
no one needs you more than i need you

2006-12-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath.

Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky

Never revealing their depth.

Tell me that we belong together,

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

Rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed.

You're my survival, you're my living proof.

My love is alive not dead.

Tell me that we belong together.

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead.

Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

The greatest fan of your life.

...greatest fan of your life.

2006-12-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

YES, another quiz stolen from Jo's blog. HAHA. Told ya she has nice quizes. :D

Everyone has their firsts:
First bestfriend: Rachel, from my kindy. But we don't talk now.
First school: Pat's School House!
First cellphone: An ancient nokia phone, that didn't have colour.
First funeral: I haven't been to one.
First pet: I can't remember, i think it was a fish.
First big trip: Ummm. America, San Francisco. I was two!
First fight: probably with my brother! We used to fight a lot when i was younger.
First celebrity crush: haha, i seriously can't remember!
First time out of the country: can't remember ):
First job: nope, i haven't worked before.
First myspace friend: none.

And their lasts...
Last person you hugged: probably my mum!
Last car ride: last night, in my car to dinner!
Last time you cried: while watching full house (korean drama) LOL, yes, i'm a sucker for korean dramas (:
Last movie you watched: Step up, on the plane.
Last food you ate: breakfast, hmmm, bread.
Last item bought: a nice halter top from adidas!
Last shirt worn: ummm. I'm wearing one now? from switzerland!
Last phonecall: I haven't called anyone for a longggg time, on account of being overseas and all :D
Last text message: some automated message from the phone company when i arrived back in singapore.
Last thing you touched: i'm touching the keypad of my laptop now!
Last time you were at the mall: yesterday! At the factory outlets in australia!
Last time you were excited about something: yesterday, SHOPPINGGGG.
Last person you saw: my brother, right now.
Last thing you drank: milo!
Last person who broke your heart: private.
Last time you were honestly happy: haha, during my australia trip (:

2006-12-13T10:01:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Australia!
I will post the pictures up soon, hopefully. The scenery there was nice and the food there was yummy. But i was like yearning for chilli because i missed spicy food :D I also got darker! Well, to be precise, i got like sunburnt and my skin was peeling because i didn't put suntan lotion. how was i to know that the sun there was so strong? So now i have two tanlines across my arm because i was wearing a sleeved shirt that day (: ah well. I didn't get to do much shopping because we spent most of our time in the countryside and there weren't any shopping malls. Some of the towns there are seriously small, they consist of just ONE main street with one/two hotels, a petrol station, a few cafes and a few other shops. Yeahhh. But the shopping in perth wasn't too bad, we went to the factory outlets and they were having incredible sales. BUT by the time we went there, the crowd had died down and the shops were almost ready to close so i didn't get to buy much. ): The highlight was definitely climbing up a 60m tree on a rickety ladder, it was seriously scary. The ladder like dangles off the tree and you just climb up to the top without any protection whatsoever. It was really fun once i got over the "ohmygod-i'm-going-to-fall-and-die" thing. LOL. I shall try to post some pictures soon!

Gosh, it's good to be home (:

2006-12-04T19:45:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving tonight at 1am for perth, Australia! :D
YEAH! can't wait. We're going to drive down to the countryside and enjoy the scenery and the beaches. The beaches there are like a Mecca for surfers all over the world. Oh yeah, i can't wait. so it'll be sayonara to singapore and everyone till the 12th of december. I'll try to buy souvenirs back. It's kind of hard to digest that tomorrow at this time, I'll be in a car travelling in the australian countryside! AAAHHHHH. I'm so excited. Well, actually I wanted to go to Korea and visit Jeju island, on account of Goong and all. But right now, I'm really psyched about going to australia. I feel like i'm fading away in singapore right now, hopefully this trip will perk me up.

you came back
but it's too late.

i feel like listening to soppy songs right now, i always seem to be down these days.
This calls for SAVAGE GARDEN! haha.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and
you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone